Je t'aime
by StrawberryMopet
Summary: Isabella and Edward Cullen live in a large house in England with their 5 children; Grace, Jack, Ethan, Henry and Lily.  After her kids are born, Bella gets a book pulished and goes on a book tour.  But something happens that she wasn't expecting. AU/H
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

_Dear diary,_

_I cannot wait to get home, and to see my gorgeous kids and my amazing husband again. I cannot wait to share my news with them, and I know that they will be waiting for me when I get off of this plane. I have been on a book tour for the last 3 months, across the US and although I have enjoyed all the book signings and discussions about my last book 'Midnight Black' I was looking forward to being home again. Although I would miss writing books, I needed some time off to watch my children grow up and to grow old with my husband. _

_My publishers had arranged for a private plane to be used to fly me home and I must admit that I was enjoying the comfort. _

The plane shook quite violently and my head snapped up. My breath caught in my throat and I knew I was going to die. So I did the first thing I could think of, I prayed. I prayed to a God that I had never particularly believed in, in hopes that he might watch over my family and friends. I wanted them to be safe and for them all to move on after my death and remember me through the happy memories that we shared. That was my final prayer, my final wish, my final thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two – Edward's POV

I smiled at the sight before me. I was sat on one half of the couch with a head on my leg. The head belonged to my youngest child, Lily. She had my bronze hair but that was the only part of me I saw in her. I always insisted that she looked more like Bella then me, but everyone else disagreed with me. She looked so much like her other siblings, but her personality was so much different. Lily was the musical one in our family. She loved to play the piano, and I could tell that soon she would want to start playing other instruments too. Although Esme wouldn't admit it, Lily was defiantly her favourite. Whenever my kids went over there, they would spend practically all day together doing whatever Lily wanted to do. Sometimes they would include my other children, but often it was just to two of them.

My eldest child was my daughter Grace. She was identical to her mother, personality wise, as she would spend most of her time reading or cooking. I remembered the day she was born, because at the time before my Bella went into labour we had been arguing about names. Bella stormed out of the room, waddling as she went but then she slipped. Emmett, my older brother, managed to catch her before she fell to the floor but he never stopped teasing her about it.

"You, little Bells, have absolutely no grace."

And then her water broke and her contractions started. After she was born, I told Bella that I had thought that the reason her water broke was because Emmett had used the word Grace, like fate, and she couldn't help but giggle. After that we had no choice but to name her Grace. And of course Emmett took full credit for it, and then said that we owed him a new pair of shoes.

About 6 months after Grace was born we found out then Bella was pregnant again, but this pregnancy was different than the first. Bella was carrying not one baby, not two babies but three babies. At first we were terrified, but the idea grew on us. If we had been first time parents it probably would have been too much to cope with, but we weren't. We had had Grace for 6 months and we could handle another baby, or babies. We decided against finding out what they were until they were born and we were blessed with three sons. It took us ages to pick out names, but we finally picked out three that we agreed on. Jack, Ethan and Henry. I remember Bella being so happy, despite the countless sleepless nights that we endured with four children under the age of two.

Around two years later we had Lily, and the day after tomorrow would be her 5th birthday. We had planned out an amazing birthday celebration for her, and it started with me waking them up at 6am tomorrow so I made sure that they were asleep quite early. I had yet to tell them that we would be picking up their mother tomorrow, but I knew that if I had then they wouldn't have been able to sleep tonight.

I smiled at my children and kissed Lily on her forehead. I picked her sleeping form up into my arms carefully and carried her into her bedroom. It was decorated sweetly in pink, and the walls were covered in golden butterflies that Bella had spent hours painting on by hand. I tucked her into bed and stroked her bronze hair out of her eyes, before turning out the light and closing the door. I returned downstairs and then picked up my next youngest, Henry. His 7 year old form shifted slightly in my arms as I carried him up to his room, and he began to mutter something about Cornflakes not having legs. I chuckled slightly and then tucked him into his bed. His bedroom was decorated in a dark blue, and had star constellations painted onto the ceiling in silver. Henry loved everything in the colour blue.

I repeated the journey back to the living room, and then picked up Ethan, the next youngest. I repeated the task of carrying him to his room, which was a representation of the forest that we lived near. He loved nature, and he looked forward to whenever we went hiking together through the forest.

I then took Jack to his bedroom, which was sky blue and covered in clouds. It was the complete opposite of Henry's room, just like their personalities. Jack was loud like his Uncle Emmett while Henry was quieter like Bella.

I repeated my trip with Grace and carried her 8 year old sleeping body up to her room, placing her in her on her bed. Her room was a soft peach colour with a black trim, which she had picked out last year when Esme took her out.

Before I got out of the room I heard her whimpering, and I turned around to see her with a distressed look on her face. She was having another nightmare. She had suffered with nightmares since she was a toddler, but she hadn't had one in a while. I softly began to sing 'Complainte de la Butte' that Bella would sing to calm her down.

_La lune trop bleme pose un diademe sur tes cheveux roux _

_La lune trop rousse de gloire eclabousse ton jupon plein d'trous _

_La lune trop pale caresse l'opale de tes yeux blases _

_Princesse de la rue soit la bienvenue dans mon coeur brise _

_The stairways up to la butte _

_Can make the wreched sigh _

_While windmill wings of the Moulin _

_Shelter you and I _

_Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux misereux _

_Les ailes du moulin protegent les amoureux_

_Petite mandigotte je sens ta menotte qui cherche ma main _

_Je sens ta poitrine et ta taille fine _

_J'oublie mon chagrin _

_Je sens sur tes levres une odeur de fievre de gosse mal nourri _

_Et sous ta caresse je sens une ivresse qui m'aneantit _

_The stairways up to la butte _

_Can make the wreched sigh _

_While windmill wings of the Moulin _

_Shelter you and I _

_Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux misereux _

_Les ailes du moulin protegent les amoureux_

_Et voila qu'elle trotte la lune qui flotte, la princesse aussi _

_La da da da da da da da da da _

_Mes reves epanouis _

_Les escaliers de la butte sont durs aux misereux _

_Les ailes du moulin protegent les amoureux_

Her hazel eyes opened and tears began to fall from her eyes. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me as tightly as she could.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I said in a hushed tone.

"I had a nightmare, Daddy" she replied, sobbing quietly.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked and she nodded in response.

I picked her up and pulled her 8 year old form onto my lap. She clung to the material of my shirt, which was now wet with her tears. My heart was breaking seeing my baby girl cry, and I had to fix it whatever it would take.

"What happened in your dream, baby girl?" I asked, while stroking her hair to calm her down.

"You and Mummy were sitting in a room with Ethan, Lily, Henry and Jack. I walked in and went to give you and Mummy a hug but she asked me who I was. She didn't know. And then I asked you if you knew me, and you didn't. You didn't know me Daddy. You didn't love me." More of her tears spilled onto my shirt, and I lifted her face to look at me. I held her tightly in my arms and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Gracie, never forget that." I replied, trying to be reassuring. "You are Grace Marie Cullen, and I love you. You are a part of this family and we will never forget you. No one gets forgotten from this family."

She gave me a crooked smile, and then kissed my cheek. "I love you Daddy" she muttered, before falling asleep in my arms.

**So that was chapter two. I hope you liked it! Please review!**

**This is the English Translation to the song that Edward sung: **

**The moon, all too fair, in your russet-red hair sets a sparkling crown **

**The moon, all too red with glory, is spread on your poor, tattered gown **

**The moon, all too white, caresses the light in your world-weary eyes **

**Princess of the street, do allow me to greet you, my broken heart cries **

**The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor **

**The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours **

**I feel, beggar-girl, your fetters, they curl as they seek out my wrists **

**I feel your young breasts, your thin little waist **

**I lose my regrets **

**I taste on your mouth the feverish breath of a half-starving waif **

**And with your caress I sense drunkenness erasing my life **

**The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor **

**The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours **

**And see how she skips, the moon how she drifts, **

**The princess in tow **

**Da da da da da da da da da da **

**My reveries grow **

**The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor **

**The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours**


	3. Chapter 3

**OK THIS IS IMPORTANT!  
**

**EPOV = Edward's POV**

**GPOV = Grace's POV**

**JPOV = Jack's POV**

**EtPOV = Ethan's POV**

**HPOV = Henry's POV**

**LPOV = Lily's POV**

**BPOV = Bree's POV NOT BELLA's**

EPOV 

I was trying to get the kids into the car to go pick my wife up, when my cell phone rang. It was Emmett. I rolled my eyes and ignored it. It wasn't until he rang for the third time, as I was strapping Henry into his car seat that I finally picked up the phone. He said only these words: "Edward, stay there. I have a bad feeling about today." To be honest, I had a bad feeling about today as well, so for a moment I considered doing as he said. That was until a car pulled into my drive. It was black, with tinted windows and it made me feel nervous. I stared at it and then knelt down beside Grace. I looked her straight in the eye and said.

"Sweetie, get your brothers and sister out of the car and then take them into the house. Put on a DVD, Monsters Inc. or something." She nodded in reply and then climbed into the car. For an 8 year old, she was extremely mature.

I walked over to the black car and saw a woman step out, who I knew to be Bella's publisher Victoria. I hesitated and looked into her eyes. They were bloodshot, and her cheeks were tear-stained and blotchy. Another car pulled into my drive, and I froze completely. It was a police car. One thought entered my mind, and I didn't want it to be true. Victoria, accompanied by another man, and a few police officers made their way over to me and Victoria patted my back once softly.

"Edward" she said, her voice hoarse. "We need to talk, it's about Bella. Can we go inside?" I nodded not trusting my voice, and we entered the house.

Once we were all sat at our dining room table, Victoria wasted no time in telling me what she was here for.

"Bella was involved in a plane accident in the early hours of this morning. The engines failed, and the plane crashed. The entire thing caught fire and everything was burnt to the ground by the time they were able to extinguish the fire. No one survived. I'm sorry Edward, Bella is dead."

GPOV 

I got my siblings all sat down in front of the television in the living room, and I put 'Lilo & Stitch' in the DVD player. The film had just started when I heard Lily's stomach rumble. I giggled softly, and she blushed knowing that all of us had heard. I got up and grabbed her hand, leading her into the kitchen. I know that Daddy said that we shouldn't have any sugary snacks so I got her an apple out of the bowl on the kitchen counter. She bit into it slowly and then grinned at me. I grabbed another 4 apples for the rest of my siblings and tried to carry them into the living room. Lily ran ahead of me, as I carefully tried to carry the apples without dropping them. But as I passed back down the hall, I peaked my head into the dining room where I saw Daddy sat at a table with some strange people. That's when I heard it. "I'm sorry Edward, Bella is dead." I gasped. My Mommy was dead? The door swung open, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I dropped the apples, and tried to take two steps back but I slipped on an apple and fell to the floor with a crash.

My siblings came running into the hallway and looked at me. Daddy came over and picked me up, with tears in his eyes. I had never seen my Daddy cry before so I knew that she really was dead.

My mommy was gone, and she wasn't coming back.

BPOV

I felt sorry for the family, as I watched the man hug his children. Only one of them, the eldest, knew what was going on but they were all crying. My mother, Victoria, put an arm around my side and cried into my shoulder.

I watched as the man, whose name I was told was Edward, hugged his kids with tears streaming down his face.

The smaller girl pulled away from the hug and said "Daddy? Why are you crying?"

He paused and looked up at her as all of the other siblings mirrored her actions, silently.

"Let's go sit in the dining room ok kids?" he asked him, trying to make sure his voice wasn't shaky but I could tell. He took hold of two of the boy's hands and leg them into the living room. The eldest girl took hold of the last boy, and the little girls hands and followed behind his father.

My mother tapped my shoulder, and led me out of the door. I followed her, and I knew in that moment that this would be the last time that she went to see the Cullens. She was incapable of loving anyone, so she wasn't really sad that she was gone. She didn't even love me or my younger brother Riley and most people would think that that was sad but it's the truth. There was no used denying it, much like the death of Bella Cullen.

EPOV

How was I going to tell them?

I turned off the DVD, and picked up Lily and put her on my left knee. I had Grace sat on my left, behind Lily and the boys were on my right. I looked towards my eldest daughter, and wiped a tear out of her eye. I took in a deep breath and then said the words that broke each of my children's hearts.

"Your Momma was involved in an accident this morning. The plane she was riding on crashed. So Mommy won't be coming home. She has gone to heaven." I watched as all of my children gained the same look that Grace wore, and then tears rolled down each of their cheeks. I pulled them all in for another hug, and I didn't let go for what felt like hours. I just wanted to hold them. My Bella was gone, and the kids were all I had left to remind me of them. They were all that I had left that I would live for. They were my life now.

**Poor Edward, Ethan, Grace, Henry, Jack and Lily….**

**Please review! I've only had one! And I'm three chapters in.**

**Anyway! Thanks for Reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

EmPOV

Today, was Bella's _funeral_. It had been a week since we had gotten the _news_, and I don't think the house had ever been quieter. Grace had spent most of her time taking care of Lily, as she was a little bit too young to know what 'Gone to Heaven' meant. Henry, Jack and Ethan spent their time in each other's rooms, never leaving one alone. Like they were afraid that if they turned around, one of them would be missing.

Every night all five of them would sleep in the living room with me, because Edward couldn't return to his and Bella's room. He knew that he would have to go up there someday, but he just couldn't right now.

I straightened Jack's tie, which was an emerald green colour, and then moved on to repeat the action with Ethan and Henry.

During the week I had taken the boys out to get fitted for suits for the funeral, while my fiancé, Rosalie, and Edward's mother, Esme, took Lily and Grace out to get dresses. I was glad that they had my family and friends during this time, but I know we all wished that it wasn't necessary. We had probably all woken up hoping that it was all some terrible nightmare every day for the last week.

Each of the men were dressed in a plain black suit with a green tie, and the girls in matching black dresses with a green ribbon in their hair.

A tear leaked from my eye, as all of the kids walked towards Edward. He knelt down and took them all into his arms, hugging him tightly. We all watched, and we could feel the pain and sadness rolling off of each and every one of them.

When the cars arrived, Esme gently put a hand on Edward's shoulder and said "the cars are here sweetheart" in her softest voice.

I can clearly remember seeing the pain in his eyes as he reluctantly pulled away from his children. He looked down into their eyes and wiped their tears away. Each and every child was crying and sobbing quietly, and it made my heart break even further than I thought possible.

He took hold of Lily's hand and squeezed tightly before leading her out to the car. Henry followed with Ethan, and Grace and Jack followed behind them. We could see that Edward's efforts to dry up their tears had been useless, but we all knew that that was Edward's way of reassuring them that it would be ok.

After we arrived at the hall where the funeral was being held, we walked quietly to the front row. As no body had been found, we could not bury her, so we settled for a plaque underneath a shaded tree but we would be holding a service first. At the front of the hall, there was a large picture of everyone from last Christmas. Surrounding the picture were flowers arranged in all different shapes. There were freesias arranged in the word 'Mother' and roses arranged in the shape of a cross. There were daisies and lilies, and I knew that Bella would have loved them all.

When we sat down, we all sat on the front row with a child on our lap. Carlisle sat with Lily, gently stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shirt. Esme sat next to him with Jack cuddled against her. Rose was sat with Henry in a similar position, with tears streaming down his face silently. I was sat with Ethan, while Edward sat with Grace. I knew that Edward would need the support of his eldest daughter today, even if he didn't know it.

The ceremony started with a short video, being shown on the projector screen to the left of us.

It had started out with a short clip of Edward and Bella's wedding day, followed by them bringing Grace home, then the triplets home, then Lily home. After the clips were shown the fading in of music could be heard, and 'The Reason' by Hoobastank came on the sound system. Pictures were shown in a slideshow of all the important and happy moments of her life, and all too soon the film was over and we were forced to focus on our pain once more.

The ache in my heart was physically painful, and tears were freely streaming from my eyes. I couldn't imagine what Edward and the kids were going through and I honestly didn't want to know. A priest came out then, and read a speech from a sheet of paper on the stand. He prayed for god to take care of her and make her happy. He prayed to ease the sufferings of those left behind. And then it was time for the hard part.

We had each written speeches to read out. I moved Ethan off of my lap and onto Rose's other leg, while I cleared my throat.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, was loved by all. She brought happiness to my best friend, and introduced me to a love that I thought was made up for movies. She was a beloved friend, and mother, we will all miss her.

"I remember the first day I met Bella, she had bumped into me in the cafeteria at school and somehow managed to fall backwards onto a table, sliding all their food onto the floor and annoying many people. She blushed about 100 shades of red, before muttering an apology and walking out. Or at least she tried too anyway."

Nearly the entire room had chuckled during that last part of my speech, and I smiled to myself remembering the day.

After finishing my speech, I went back to my seat and took the boys off of Rose so she could speak.

"If Bella could see us now, I know she would be complaining that this was too much." She said with a smile, and the chuckles erupted again.

She then went on to tell the story of how she met Bella, which certainly was an interesting one.

When she returned to her seat, she picked Lily and Jack, allowing them to say their words.

Carlisle and Esme focused on Edward and Bella's wedding day. They threw in a few sentences that made us smile, before seating again.

Grace then stood up, taking Ethan's hand and leading him and their other siblings up to the front of the room.

Lily's sobbing could still be heard as she buried her face into Jack's chest. He rubbed her back comforting her, while Henry hugged then both. Ethan still stood holding Grace's hand that wasn't occupied by paper, as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Our mom, was the best mom we could have asked for. She was loving and kind, she was supportive and sweet. And she made the best cookies in the world. She would protect us… when we …were …scared…"

Ethan then took the paper from Grace, when he noticed her struggling and read for her.

"She would protect us when we were scared, and sing to us. In fact she would sing all the time. She sang while she cleaned, while she cooked, while she showered. Sometimes we wondered why she didn't become a singer instead of a writer. We miss mommy a lot and wish she was with us, we lo-ve you mommy." His voice cracked on the word love, and tears started to form in his eyes. He looked up to Edward, who ran to them immediately. He gathered them all in his arms and let them all sob into his chest.

I desperately wanted to run to them too, to take them in my arms and protect them, but I knew I shouldn't. I looked towards Rosie, whose makeup was running all over the place with her tears. I put an arm around her, and pulled her close to me.

I couldn't imagine what I would have done if it had been Rosie instead of Bella, but I imagine the hurt would have been the same. I loved Bella. Maybe not in the same way that I loved my Rose, but Bella was my little sister in every way other than biologically.

I closed my eyes gently, as another tear rolled down my face, but it wasn't long before I felt a small tap on my leg. My eyes shot open and I saw Lily looking up at me with teary eyes. I lifted her up and pulled her into my arms. Grace sat down next to me, on the empty seat that Edward had been occupying and was watching her father. I quickly pulled her onto my lap, and she glanced up at me with a half-smile in thanks.

I looked up to Edward and saw him mentally prepping himself for what he was about to say.

"Bella was-" he took a deep breath.

"Bella was an angel inside and out. She was kind, beautiful, honest, loving and no one will ever replace her in our hearts. She loved our children beyond what most people would think possible, and I know that she is missing them from heaven. But she is with her parents now, who I know will take care of her for us. Charlie and Renee were definitely two parents not to be messed with when it came to their baby girl." He chuckled to himself, half-smiling before continuing.

"They raised their daughter into the beautiful woman we all knew and loved, and I have always been grateful to them. And although we will miss her, we shall never forget her. We shall never replace her. We shall always love her."

He breathing was shaky as he took his seat, and pulled Grace into a hug. He held her tightly, rocking backwards and forwards slightly. I didn't even have to look at them to know that they were both crying desperately.

I closed my eyes, and bowed my head softly.

_Yeah I'll tell you something _

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something, _

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand, _

_I wanna hold your hand_

_Oh please, _

_say to me you'll let me be your man_

_And please, _

_say to me you'll let me hold your hand_

_Now let me hold your hand, _

_I wanna hold your hand_

_And when I touch you _

_I feel happy inside_

_It's such a feeling that my love, _

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide, _

_I can't hide_

_Yeah you got that something, _

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something _

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand, _

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

We all walked out to the song that was playing, not one of us with dry faces. The tree in which her plaque was being placed, wasn't far from the service hall, and it was beginning to rain softly around us, not that we cared.

_Isabella Marie Cullen_

_Mother._

_Daughter._

_Wife._

_Friend._

_Will be missed by the world._

Those were the words that were elegantly placed on it. Next to it was a simple vase of 5 white lilies and a single red rose. It was truly beautiful, but sad at the same time.

One by one, each of the kids went up to the plaque and kissed it whispering something.

By the time it had gotten to Lily we had pulled out the sunglasses to hide our red, bloodshot eyes.

We carried the kids back to the cars, and made our way back to the house. We ordered pizzas and sat in front of the TV watching home movies of Bella and the kids. But it wasn't long before almost everyone was asleep. We turned off the movie's and a soft singing could be heard.

_don't let me go, _

_don't let me go_

_we're falling apart_

_and coming together again and again_

_we're coming apart_

_but we pull it together_

_pull it together, together again_

_don't let me go,_

_don't let me go, _

_don't let me go, _

_don't let me go, _

_don't let me go, _

_don't let me go_

**AN:/**

**So that was the funeral 3 What did you think? I know some of you wanted me to not kill her off, but I already have this story planned out in my head. The songs in this chapter were 'The Reason' by Hoobastank and 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' covered by Glee. When I wrote it I imagined the Edward was singing 'Never Say Never' by the Fray.**

**I hope you liked it.**

**-StrawberryMopet**


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